Rosalyn’s Story – introductory blog

Meet Rosalyn.

Rosalyn is losing her baby as I am writing this blog.  Or she has lost it already.  Truth is she doesn’t know.  Her baby is 8 weeks old and she was told by her doctor that the heartbeat isn’t strong enough to survive.  They know the baby will die.  They are waiting.

This is the first time I am introducing a contest winner with such a tragic story.  My heart goes out to Rosalyn and her family.  I thought Rosalyn would want to wait for the blog.  I thought she would need time to grieve and I told her we can write this blog later.  Nobody is really waiting for it anyway.  It’s not like I have that big of a following.

But guess what.  Rosalyn asked me to write the blog now.  She wants her story to be heard.  And so here we are.

Have you ever said something with good intentions that came out all wrong?  Not sure what I mean?  When it comes to miscarriage I can think of a few.  Like, ‘at least it wasn’t too far along so you didn’t get too attached.’  Or ‘at least you know you can get pregnant so you can do it again.’  Or ‘the baby is with God now’ to an atheist.  For a complete list of things you should never say to someone who has miscarried, do a search online.  These examples are in the top ten.

When a woman (or a couple – I don’t want to offend any men out there either because their feelings are just as important) is experiencing a miscarriage the last thing you want to do is make her feel worse.  You want to say the right thing.  You want to comfort her.  But, how can anything be comforting at a time like this?  What could you possibly say?  I don’t know.  “I am sorry for your loss” or “I’m here for you if you want to talk about it” are a few that come to mind (I will get into this more a bit later).  You know what you don’t want to say, and you can’t put your foot in your mouth if your mouth isn’t open.  So, you remain silent.  You assume she has a supporting husband or family that will help her get through this.  You feel sad for her until something else comes along to distract you.  And then you forget about it.

Because let’s be honest.  Losing a baby is unthinkable.  You don’t want to think about it.

I don’t know what it feels like to lose a baby.  I am very grateful to have never experienced such a loss.  I do know how it feels to yearn for a baby.  I know how it feels to learn that you are pregnant, after months of trying, and you are the happiest and most grateful you could ever possibly be.  I know how it feels to be eight weeks pregnant and you love that baby growing inside of you.  That baby is real!  That baby is real to a mother the minute she learns she’s pregnant.  You can’t see it or hear it or feel it or touch it, but it’s there.  (I will write ‘it’ in reference to the baby for ease of flow, but I want to write he or she because it is a human being no matter how small or undeveloped.)  By the way, if you would like to see what an eight week old fetus looks like, CLICK HERE.

I am going to be completely honest, although in hindsight I realize I was quite naive.  When I first started working with women who were trying to get pregnant, I assumed most of them would be quick to get pregnant and have beautiful healthy babies.  I knew some women may need a little extra help, and some were struggling with fertility.  Of course, I knew about miscarriage and stillbirths and dying babies.  But, this isn’t something that happens to me, or people I know.  It certainly wouldn’t happen to my clients.  They would all have beautiful pregnancies with no health issues or concerns.  When I started writing this blog three years ago, I imagined every pregnancy being perfect.  They would all be happy ending stories.  Success stories.

I was wrong.  That’s not reality.  Now to be fair, most of my past clients are now blessed with healthy babies.  And I truly feel Rosalyn will have her baby too.  Unfortunately, for some couples their dreams of becoming a parent never do happen.  Or they adopt or find alternative methods of having children.  Or sometimes sad stories get their happy ending eventually.  But it’s a long, arduous road to get there, filled with grief and disappointment along the way.

Rosalyn is not alone, and she is not my first client to have a miscarriage.  She is the first one I am blogging about.  But, I have seen many women with fertility issues and repeated miscarriages.  It happens a lot more than we may think.

We should talk about it.  Chances are you know someone who has lost a baby.  It could be a co-worker, a friend, cousin, sister or neighbour.  It could be anyone and they may be suffering in silence.

There is help out there.  One resource is a group called Pregnancy and Infant Loss Network or PAIL.  If you are reading this and have experienced a loss I encourage you to reach out to them.  Or reach out to your family and friends.  You may be surprised to learn that someone you know has also suffered a loss.  Find a local support group in your area.  Find help.  It’s out there.

If you know someone who has experienced a miscarriage, let them know you are thinking of them and that their baby matters.  Ask them how they are feeling and be there to listen when they need to talk.

Rosalyn has won my Biggest Contest Ever. This means from now until she gives birth, we will be working closely together on her prenatal health and nutrition goals.  If she is unsuccessful in achieving pregnancy we will end this blog after one year of trying.  Of course, this is not the outcome we are all hoping for.

When I first met Rosalyn I knew she knew her stuff.  She has done a lot of her own research on fertility and miscarriage.  I knew right away that it would be a challenge for me to come up with new methods of improving fertility that she hasn’t already tried.

She and her husband are currently undergoing fertility treatments.  Rosalyn has been pregnant in the past, a total of eight times.  Three of those pregnancies were successful and she has 3 beautiful, healthy boys.  She has suffered 5 losses altogether.  This last one is the first time they have found a heartbeat and this makes it the most difficult of all.

Next month I will post an update on Rosalyn’s story.

I’d like to do something different this time and Rosalyn has given me permission to share her thoughts after reading this blog.  Here they are.

You never think it’s going to happen to you, or probably anyone else you know, until it does. Infertility and miscarriages are shockingly common. As a society we just suck at talking about it. When I came out on (social media) with my third loss, I was amazed how many women had been through the same. We need to stop making it a taboo to talk and share our stories. And it’s more than just infertility and miscarriages, there’s also late term loss, still births, and it happens to real people. Not just to ‘other’ people you’ll never know.

I knew when I was younger and had my boys, how precarious nature was. How hard it is for every little thing to come together to make a baby. I knew, but I don’t think I *knew*, if you know what I mean? Now I look at my kids and am overwhelmed that they were ever possible in the first place.

People keep saying how brave I am, but I don’t really think so. You just… with the hand you’re dealt. Like right now I still have to go through this miscarriage, I have no idea how it’ll play out, if my body will take care of it or if it’ll end up in the hospital, or if it’ll drag on and on. I have no idea. It’s ugly, it’s huge, I don’t want to do it. But there’s no way around that wall of ugly – you just got to soldier on and make it through the other side, because lying down to die is not an option. And really, that’s all people with these fertility and loss problems do, is just keep moving, like a shark that doesn’t want to drown. We’re not brave, we’re just surviving.

I used to think that RPL (repeat pregnancy loss) would be the most horrible thing ever. And somedays, it is complete hell on earth. But somehow, you make it through when it happens to you, mostly because you really don’t have a choice not to.

Thank you for bringing up the spouse! Men often get ignored. I think seeing the heartbeat has been especially tough on my husband.  Men grieve too, but somehow our society is even worse about men grieving and being affected by fertility issues than women. We ARE talking more about it, and it’s less taboo for a woman to have infertility issues, but it’s still very taboo for men. The stats are – 50% of infertility cases have a male factor issue at least partially. Which means, half the time, the guy is at least part of the problem. And yet, everyone assumes it’s the womens’ body at fault all the time – it’s not. For us, we believe that we are repeatedly creating aneuploid (chromosomally abnormal) embryos because of a combination of my older eggs and my husband’s DNA damaged sperm. It can be extremely hard for guys to accept that and it’s very taboo.

I’m not grateful for having this crap happen, obviously…..but in a way I value feeling the loss and sorrow, because it gives shadow to the bright spots in my life and makes my human experience fuller and more complete…….I’m not sure that makes sense, but somehow a life filled with nothing but good would seem a bit, shallow by comparison? That the human experience isn’t complete without the darkness too, like a yin/yang thing.

Rosalyn's baby.

Rosalyn’s baby.


Here are a few articles that Rosalyn found helpful and wanted to share:

“Why Are We So Bad at Acknowledging Pregnancy Loss”

“Let’s Talk About Miscarriage”


Right now, I ask that you please take a moment and think of these babies who have been taken too soon.  Keep their memories alive.  If you know someone who has suffered a loss, let them know you haven’t forgotten.  Those precious little lives had meaning, however short their time was on earth.  If you have any kind words you would like to share with Rosalyn, please leave a comment or send a private message to

Thank you for taking time from your day to read Rosalyn’s introductory blog.  I hope you will continue to follow her story as it unfolds.  To be notified when the next blog is posted, CLICK HERE  to subscribe to my email list.


Eat Right, Look Great, Feel Awesome 2016! 12 week online program.

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If you are reading this, you probably know me, or at the very least you know that I like to work with women who are pregnant or trying.  But, about once a year or so, I open registration for this program which focuses on weight loss, getting back into shape or learning how to eat a holistic diet.  Basically, eating right, looking great and feeling awesome.  🙂  I want to stress that last part.  Feeling awesome.  This is really the ultimate goal.  Because in the big picture, what you look like on the outside shouldn’t be the focus of any health and wellness plan (although it often is).  What we should get excited about is the way we feel!  It’s about having more energy and feeling happy!  It’s about living pain free!  It’s about taking care of ourselves and our bodies.  It’s about nurturing our minds and our souls.  Trust me, this is the important stuff.  And this is what my program is all about.  (Sometimes though, members lose weight too….)

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I lost a total of 11 pounds since completing Karen’s online weight loss challenge and still losing! I followed all the weekly rules and was able to incorporate them very easily into our routines. Yes – I cheated and treated too lol! In the end I have not only lost weight but cut my grocery costs down by $150 for this month! Meal planning was a big part of the cost cutting for sure. It’s amazing how one month can change your mindset and make you realize that what we put in our bodies affect how we feel overall. I truly think that changes to my diet have helped me with my pain management too. Thank you!

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I lost 11 pounds and am honestly amazed! I was already in good shape. I just needed that last 10 pounds and with Karen’s help I achieved that and will surpass my goal. This morning I am 1 pound away from my ideal goal weight. Thank you so much Karen for providing me with the push and support that I needed.

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I started Karen’s weight loss challenge in January hoping for the best but a little weary that I would not know how to introduce new, organic foods into my diet. Karen assured me that she would help me in every way possible. She provided me with not only recipes and advice, but with a new way of looking at food. Now I know what to look for on labels and how to cook quinoa (which I had never had before I met Karen). I took her Nutrition Assessment and found that I needed to go on a Candida diet to flush my system of toxins. I must say, I have never felt more energetic and healthy. In four months I have lost a total of 18 pounds and I am training to run a 5k in the fall. Life is good! Thank you Karen for getting me started on my new healthy body!

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Farm Fresh Vegetables And Fruits